Giving and Sharing

Long before arriving in Suriname and even before applying to become a Journeyman, I had heard it said by those with experience on the mission field that the Lord will change you just as much as you hope or think you will change the lives of those around you. For the last four months, I’ve seen the Lord challenge me in countless ways, more than ever before since being overseas. One particular area where God has shown me I need change is in generosity and giving. Circumstances in the ministry here have revealed to me how far I fall short when I read the words of Jesus: “Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.” -Matthew 5:42, “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.” –Luke 6:35

It has been fairly easy to tithe my income (no matter how small) since I’ve been taught the importance of doing that from a young age. I continue to do this as an act of obedience as the Lord tells us but in one aspect it isn’t as a major sacrifice. This last month I read Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis (thanks for b-day gift Taylor) and in a section on Social Morality he states: “I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. In other words, if our expenditure on comforts, luxuries, amusements, etc., is up to the standard common among those with the same income as our own, we are probably giving too little. If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small.” This really hit me because what the Lord was telling me was that I could and should give more.

To most of you, seeing the amount of money I’m bringing in would perhaps evoke thoughts of empathy for how much I was giving up when contrasted with what I could possibly earn in the U.S. That argument holds water until you live in a village like Ditabikii where you are hands-down wealthier than everyone around you. It’s amazing how even a single possession you own is more than people make in months or even a year here. So you can’t default to comparisons of your peers in America. In the states where most people aren’t persistently asking to borrow from you or for The Lord has given you more financially than those around you and the Biblical response to this is to be even more eager to share with those in need. In Luke’s gospel (12:48) Jesus tells us: “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”

In the states (at least in my experience) most people aren’t persistently asking to borrow or to have your possessions. You aren’t tested in your willingness to share as you I have been in Suriname. On a daily basis here people ask to borrow much of what we have. This includes various tools, machines, our boat etc. Sometimes kids or even adults will come by asking us to cook something for them. We buy food for ourselves and don’t have a ton to spare. Our friends will call asking us to buy them things in the city to bring back interior. While we have given more often than we’ve held back, my heart has too often been in the wrong place. I find myself internally grumbling and questioning and dreading….giving. And at that very moment I am aware how God judges the heart and I am convicted that I shouldn’t think this way. So in one way this is sort of a confession to all of you. I definitely have not “arrived” yet. I ask God to continue to change my heart to be more generous and to not do so grudgingly. On a positive note, the very fact that I possess the realization that I am not where I should be is a sure sign of improvement. I desire to be the “joyful giver” the word tells us God loves. When I face the realization that the Lord owns everything and he entrusts us with possessions to use for his glory, I fully grasp why it’s important to be all the more eager to share.